Mon 7th March

Breakfast:

Latte (heA) with sugar (1), homemade carrot and raisin muffin (5) and dorset cereals fruity porridge (heB)

Snack:

Apple and a berry nakd bar [heB]

Lunch:

Leftover bol (3.5 For sundried toms and loyd g sauce)

Snack:

Mango and a tea with agave (0.5)

Later snack (after giving blood):

3 ginger snaps (7.5)

Tea:

Chilli with nooch [heA] and chips

Snack:

Tea with agave (0.5) and a homemade muffin (5)

  • Walked one way (Seacourt)
  • Syns: 23

Went a bit over today. But hey, I did give away almost a pint of blood! And I’m confident I’ll make it up by thursday. Had a wobble with the muffin (ate it quickly in the kitchen and considered having more) but I managed. I’m feeling healthy from eating all of this good food – plenty of beans and veggies. Oh, and when I gave blood, the nurse said my iron levels were “really good” 😀

The gym – week 2

Let’s see how I did this week:

Mon: Nothing – done!

Tue: Gym – done

Wed: Yoga class – done, and loved it

Thur: SW – yep

Fri: Gym after work – yes, but went in the morning

Sat: Gym in the morning – done

Sun: Nothing – no! meal in London was cancelled so I went to the gym first thing since I can’t go on Monday

Good stuff, feeling quite fit. And my red-facedness is definitely better than it was a fortnight ago!

Sun 6th March

Breakfast:

A banana and a homemade carrot-raisin muffin (5), and one tea with agave (0.5)

Lunch:

Roasted cauliflower and 3 frys herb sausages (3), tea with agave (0.5) and fruit ryvitas (heB)

Snack:

Mango

Tea:

Bean chilli and brown rice with nooch [heA]

Snack:

Vanilla soya yogurt (4) with grape nuts (heB), 1 tbsp blackstrap molasses (2)

  • Gym – 20 mins cycle, 20 mins cross trainer
  • Syns: 15

Another good day! Feeling great 🙂

And we’ve just booked our holiday in May – vegas, sequoias, and san fran!!!

*ETA: Now it’s later on, and I’m sitting here desperately trying not to binge. There’s lots of biscuits around me, and I want to eat them all, say “sod the diet until tomorrow” and over indulge. But I know how shit I’ll feel if I do, and I know why I want to binge – I’m feeling crap about going to work tomorrow. It’s been bothering me all weekend and I don’t want to deal with the crap which is going to happen tomorrow.

* ETA, again…I managed! I had 2 oranges. And now, much though I would like to have some biscuits, it’s just that I want them, and a normal level of self control is required. The desperate binge feeling is gone. It just goes to show, that when I feel bingey, there’s probably a reason for it, which I need to acknowledge. And also that I must must MUST always have fruit in. Because if I hadn’t had any oranges in, I would have eaten something else. I don’t know if I would have had one muffin and used 5 syns, or whether I’d have had bread, cereal, porridge, chocolate, crumpets etc. I don’t know if the 5 syns would have pushed me into “screw it I’ll start tomorrow” territory, or if I would have stopped. But I feel good. I’m at my syn limit for the day and I narrowly avoided a binge. Good stuff!!

The coming week

Just wanted to write plans for the coming week…

Mon: No exercise, I’ll go to the gym tomorrow instead. I have to get to work at silly o’clock because of the miserable shitfest which descended at hometime on friday. Can’t wait. 😦 then after work I’m giving blood and they recommend you don’t do strenuous stuff after.

Tue: Possibly the Oxford Vegans meeting, if they end up holding it on that day. In which case I’ll go to the gym before work.

Wed: Yoga class

Thur: SW

Fri: Gym before work

Sat: Gym in the morning

Sun: Yoga at home

The scales

For the last few months, I have been weighing myself on a regular basis. For the sake of my sanity, I’m stopping completely. I’ll only get weighed once a week, at SW. This will take willpower, because my partner likes to have the scales in the bathroom, but I’m just going to have to resist. It doesn’t do me any good. If I’ve done well, I think I’m invincible, and if I’ve done badly, I binge out of sadness. I end up miserable because of the scales no matter what happens. I’d rather have a suprise each thursday, but be sensible enough between weigh-ins to know that I should do ok.

Sat 5th March

Breakfast:

Vanilla soya yogurt (4) with vogels ultra bran (heB)

Snack:

Tea with agave (0.5)

Lunch:

Roasted cauliflower and courgette with half a tin of spicy refried beans

Snack:

Mango, tea with agave (0.5), 2 fruit ryvitas (heB)

Tea:

Wholewheat spaghetti, loyd grossman sauce (3) with onion, tinned tomatoes, courgette, sundried tomatoes (0.5), linda mc mince, petit pois and nooch [heA]

Snack:

2 oranges, tea with agave (0.5) and a tbsp blackstrap molasses (2)

  • Gym – 20 mins cycle, 20 mins cross trainer
  • Syns: 10.5

Good day! That’s 2 in a row! And I’m feeling fitter and healthier. The gym is so good for my mental health, I need to remember that. And when I go, it’s fine, and it’s over pretty quickly and I feel great.

Everything is in my control. By making good choices and sticking to my food plans, and by staying in control, I am in control of my mental health and my feelings on a daily basis. If I continue to be sensible, thursday and the days up to it won’t be stressful, they will be normal. It’s all in my hands.

Fri 4th March

Breakfast:

Banana and nakd bar – berry (6)

Snack:

Apple and orange

Lunch:

Salad box from covered market (heB x 2 – seeds and oil)

Tea:

Chips, beans, 3 x frys sausages

Snack:

Tea with agave (0.5), 1 tbsp blackstrap molasses (2)

  • Gym – 20 mins cycle, 20 mins cross trainer
  • Syns: 8.5

syn-free vegan sausages!

OK. Fresh start. Got weighed yesterday, and, having missed 2 weigh-ins, I gained 2 pounds. Which was way better than I thought. It’s a good job I go with my friend, because I might well have jacked the whole thing in by now if I didn’t. I was feeling really fed up with the whole thing, and like it was making me mental too.

But anyway, I’m not going to dwell on that. Ranted about it yesterday with my SW friend so feeling ok now. Looking forward to being in control, not binging, feeling good and losing weight.

The plan is; making exciting food, being organised with food, keeping up with the gym, try to have less than 10 syns per week, keep my sanity, don’t let the week revolve around thursday weigh-ins, and eat on thursdays (yes, current stupid behaviour – i’m going to build it up week by week).