I got weighed

Latte with caramel syrup (heA + 4)

Banana

Apple

Nakd bar – berry (heB)

20 cashews (heB)

I got weighed. First week in ages of being sensible, went to the gym 4 times, yoga once, stayed within syns, walked lots.

Lost half a pound.

Are you fracking kidding me? Bollocks. I feel pretty cheated actually. And it’s not the best situation, exercise lots, eat well, lose a pathetic amount of weight. I deserve more than that. And the silly thing is, before I got weighed, I was fairly convinced I’d have lost about 2 pounds, and I was feeling good. But then I lost half a pound and now I’m in a right grump. And I binged. I could pretend it was “indulging” but it wasn’t. Eating a vegetable samosa really quickly while driving home and then being paranoid about having samosa breath which might be noticed by your partner? That’s not normal. Then at home, another samosa, humous, pittas, half a small packet of crisps and 6 jammy dodgers. I guess the stuff I had at home could count as indulgence, it was the car which was crazy behaviour.

Ho hum. Onward. I guess I just need to get on with it, and get back on it and not lose the plot any more. I need to go to weigh-in next week knowing I deserve to lose weight. Maybe I’ll try and have 5-8 syns per day.

Here’s a couple of positives:

  • I ate today. Not loads, but some. I’m feeling good about that. Over time I will build up to eating breakfast and lunch (even if it’s cereal and salad), but for the time being, what I had today is huge progress.
  • It was lovely going to SW knowing that I deserved to lose weight. I was nervous while in the queue, but not deep down dreading it.
  • I got into lotus pose at yoga last night. And after yoga I felt amazing. Alive.

Plan for this week:

  • 5-8 syns per day
  • Gym lots, and do yoga at home once
  • Green smoothies for breakfasts
  • Jacket potatoes for tea

It is tough working so hard all week and not being rewarded with weight loss. But no-one said losing weight was easy did they? I just have to keep working at it and not give up.

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