Lost the plot

Oh god. I’ve only been doing slimming world for 2.5 weeks and I’ve already lost the plot. I was ill earlier in the week and missed weigh-in. While I was ill I was off plan, eating things which made me feel better because I felt so utterly miserable, only toast and crisps and other rubbish made me feel remotely better. And in reality, they didn’t make me feel better at all, they just made me stress about SW, and have the whole “I’ll be good again tomorrow” thing going on. Silliness. And I’d already been fairly bad last week, and had more treats than I should have.

So then yesterday I ended up getting too hungry but needed to eat something so I could have my antibiotics. I was on the way to meet my friend after work and I knew I wouldn’t eat any tea until really late. And because I was too hungry, I failed to make a sensible choice and just had a huge 150g bag of crisps. I even went to a garage which sold nice fruit salads etc. but just went a bit daft. And so today I didn’t eat during the day apart from soya milk in hot drinks, a banana and 2 apples. But obviously this evening I have eaten daft stuff again – cereal, jacket pot with marg, biscuits, crisps (other half bought my favourite crisps as a suprise). Oh man, I feel so worried about monday and so out of control.

My instinct is to restrict as much as I can over the weekend, and then hopefully I’ll be vaguely ok at weigh-in on monday. I lost 2 lb in my first week and i’m so worried i’ll be over my starting weight now. But you know what? I need to get back on track. Mentally. Restricting is going to make me mental, and make me binge.

So. The plan is this.

– Eat properly this weekend. On plan, low syn.

– On monday, go to weigh-in. Know that it might well be a bad result, so ask the weighers not to tell me the result. Deal with it the week after, when I will have been better! Hopefully this plan should take away from the anxiety of monday hanging over me so much. I need a way of being able to get back on track and get on with things, hopefully this will work.

I was thinking today about exercise, and in particular, yoga. I can’t remember when I last exercised and considering I ran a 10k in July, that’s impressive. It just isn’t in my life anymore, which is so sad. I could make excuses about work being mental (which is true), but the reality is that I just haven’t made the effort to prioritise it. The fact is that I feel considerably better about myself when I exercise regularly, and yoga is ace for my self image and internal peace, but it it so easy to forget these things when I am out of the habit.

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